Okay, just stop.

ambassador-of-anguish: shouldertappingghosts: If I was a famous author I would publish a book with...

Sun, 19 May 2013 20:32:16 -0400

shouldertappingghosts:

If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.

This is perfect.

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Sun, 19 May 2013 17:48:15 -0400

sarelyrics: Born To Die by Lana Del Rey

Sun, 19 May 2013 17:46:13 -0400

sarelyrics:

Born To Die by Lana Del Rey

passion: how to have a flat stomach remove all of your organs

Sun, 19 May 2013 17:44:45 -0400

passion:

how to have a flat stomach

remove all of your organs

maxterbate: maxterbate: Why dont you guys want Yahoo to buy Tumblr? Free chocolate milk for...

Sun, 19 May 2013 17:43:34 -0400

maxterbate:

maxterbate:

Why dont you guys want Yahoo to buy Tumblr?

Free chocolate milk for everyone

i have just been informed on this

shampood: my sisters a huge pothead and today her freind came over and was like “yo pass me some of...

Sun, 19 May 2013 17:41:13 -0400

shampood:

my sisters a huge pothead and today her freind came over and was like “yo pass me some of that dank weed” and my sisters like “no its mine” AND THEN HER FREIND GOES “god damn i didnt ask for your dank greed” AND IM LAUGHIN SO HARD

oh-woah-dope: since this is yahoo, can someone help me please? i held a girl’s hand the other day...

Sun, 19 May 2013 17:40:10 -0400

oh-woah-dope:

since this is yahoo, can someone help me please?

i held a girl’s hand the other day and she didn’t come to school for like a week. did i made her pregnant?

sherlock-has-got-the-blue-box: gingerdoctorlosthisshoe: CUMBERB...

Sun, 19 May 2013 17:39:30 -0400

sherlock-has-got-the-blue-box:

gingerdoctorlosthisshoe:

CUMBERBATCHY.

OMfGg

detention: im following back tons and promoting today!

Sun, 19 May 2013 17:39:20 -0400

detention:

im following back tons and promoting today!

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Sun, 19 May 2013 17:36:51 -0400

br0samabinladen: when i die someone put this on my tombstone

Sun, 19 May 2013 17:32:49 -0400

br0samabinladen:

when i die someone put this on my tombstone

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Sun, 19 May 2013 17:28:20 -0400

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Sun, 19 May 2013 17:25:50 -0400

Conversation I had with my dad today as we were outside the supermarket.

Sat, 18 May 2013 20:26:45 -0400

me: *notices a cab that just so happens to be the modern make of a chevy impala*
me: ew
dad: what?
me: is that what impalas look like anymore? that's an awful looking car.
dad: you know, impalas used to be really nice cars. my friend had one when i was younger
me: what year was the model?
dad: uhh, '67 i think, with a really nice black paint job. yeah, they used to be beautiful cars, huge with four doors. then they modernized it and turned it into that *points to new impala* you have no idea how nice this car was
me: i know how awesome impalas are, i want one really bad. well a classic anyway.
dad: i remember one time, he was gonna sell it... i think he kept it though. i should've bought it.
me: why didn't you?
dad: he moved away or i didn't have enough money, i don't remember.
me: that sucks.
dad: come to think of it, i didn't see him much
me: why not?
dad: i don't know, he liked road trips a lot. he always came back after some time but he was gone a lot.
me: what was his name?
dad: john.

lampsarepeopletoo: they call me macklemore in math class because im like what what what what...

Sat, 18 May 2013 20:25:59 -0400

lampsarepeopletoo:

they call me macklemore in math class because im like

what what what what what

what what what what what what what

what what what what

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Sat, 18 May 2013 20:13:52 -0400

rubywhiterabbit: calderonbeta: feralcastiel: can you imagine if twitter existed in the 1800s abe...

Sat, 18 May 2013 20:09:20 -0400

rubywhiterabbit:

calderonbeta:

feralcastiel:

can you imagine if twitter existed in the 1800s

abe lincoln tweeting shit like “wow this play sucks just shoot me”

too soon

HE WAS SHOT IN 1865

shedisenchants: shedisenchants: so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my...

Sat, 18 May 2013 20:08:47 -0400

shedisenchants:

shedisenchants:

so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night

you guys think I’m joking??

creeeee: imawanchor: remember when the first time the audience saw bella swan she was just...

Sat, 18 May 2013 20:06:07 -0400

creeeee:

imawanchor:

remember when the first time the audience saw bella swan she was just randomly clutching a cactus

remember vampires suck?

uglybloggerlol: “What do you have in common with Edward...

Sat, 18 May 2013 20:05:27 -0400

uglybloggerlol:

“What do you have in common with Edward Cullen?”

Rob - “I look a bit like him.”

i swear to god no one hates twilight more than rob